Soooo excited.

My grandma and my nephew had plans months ago to spend 3 weeks in Washington with my mom at the end of summer. I thought it would be fun to go when they did, but I didn't really consider it an option. We couldn't spend the money to buy a ticket, and I assumed I would probably have a job. My brother posted the other day that they had gotten on their plane to go out there.

And I started thinking...

if I could find a ticket...

why shouldn't I go? I don't have a job, and we had the money.

I found a ticket that was decently priced, and called my mom. She loved the idea of course. I had  to wait several long hours until Ben got home to talk to him about it. I was nervous he would think it was too much money or something. His only hesitation was when he thought I meant for both of us to go, since he has to work. Once he realized I meant me going without him, he took about 2 seconds to say, "Sure!" Is he great or what?

So I'm going!!!!

I will be in Washington July 28th - August 7th. I really do wish Ben was going with me. It won't be the same without him, and I KNOW I'm going to miss him terribly. This will be the longest we've been apart since we got married. But it will be so great to be with my family in the state that I love. I haven't seen my grandma in a year. I haven't seen her since my grandpa died. My nephew is the sweetest kid in the whole world and I haven't seen him in a year either. And seeing my mom twice in one year? I feel like I won the lottery.

It was such an impulsive decision, I felt nervous about it. It still doesn't feel like it could be really true!

I'm sitting here, a little before 7:00 am. I am sleepy. I got up at six-ish to help Ben get ready for work. I make his coffee and lunch, fill his water jug, figure out something for his breakfast. He's off by 6:30. It's always a hard decision about whether or not to go back to bed. On the one hand, I'm sleepy and could easily just go back to bed for a little more snoozing. On the other hand, if I do go back to sleep I usually sleep too long, feel crappy and don't get anything done. I could set an alarm, but when I don't HAVE to get up, it's easy just to turn it off. So I try to stay up a lot of the time.

Here are the noteworthy things that have happened since I last blogged. I got rejected by some more jobs, which is just not fun. I went to the zoo with my sister-in-laws and nephews. I made some amazing blueberry muffins. I ordered (and received!) some new clothes. I bought an adorable new purse. Ben and I babysat one of our nephews. I've been watching Ben play the most bizarre video game. I bought some succulents and have a little container garden of them on the back railing of the motor home. I've been reading The Parasites by Daphne DuMaurier. We ordered tags for the cats and have experimented a little with letting them out. Graybeard loves being out and will try to run past you when you open the door. Darcy and Scurvy are a little unsure about this whole being outside thing.

Currently, I don't have any applications out that I'm waiting to here back from. I'm trying to figure out what I might like to do besides an office job. I browse jobs at least weekly, usually a couple of times a week. I try to be open to ideas. But I'm not finding or coming up with much. I would really like to get to know some more people, because I really think that's the best way to find jobs. Ben met up with some friends, and he reconnected with some acquaintances that are married and around our age. I'm kind of hoping maybe we can get to know those people. Not just for connections, but also for friendship.

Today I am going swimsuit shopping (eep) with one of my sister-in-laws. We are going with his brother's and their families to a water park tomorrow. I haven't bought or worn a swimsuit in a long time. I'm hoping to find a one piece that doesn't make me look like a middle aged woman and maybe some shorts to go with it. I go way on the modesty side of swimsuits.

Nephews getting ready to feed giraffes.

Hey there.

Aren't hippos the best zoo animals?

Cute.

Graybeard likes munching plants.

He isn't sure he wants to come out.

How cute is he? He loves being outside.

The other two not so much.

My sweetheart.

"I don't think I like it out there."

Here comes another year...

I'm entering my 26th year. Here's where my life is.

I'm married to a wonderful man who loves me.

I'm living in Colorado (which is on fire, by the way).

I am living in a motor home with my husband and 3 cats. And I love it.

I'm unemployed. Which is not too bad. Other than having to look for a job and running out of money sometimes, I'm kind of enjoying it.

Overall, life is pretty good. I had a great birthday eve with Ben. Then we had a fun birthday dinner with his family. The day after we got to have dinner with my aunt and my cousin's wife and daughters, and I got to spend a birthday gift card . It has been a really fun couple of days.

Birrrrrrrrthday.

Welp. My birthday is on Sunday. I turn 26. I'm...not that excited. I feel kind of weird about turning 26. I'm entering my LATE 20's. What? Ben and I are going to celebrate tomorrow with sushi, Starbucks, and watching the second Sherlock Holmes movie. I am excited about that. Those are some favorites of mine. I would love to go on a mountain drive or something too. But that might have to come later on.

I applied for a job at the company one of my best friends works at out in Missouri. I couldn't believe it when I saw the listing. From everything she's told me it is a great company. She's putting in a good word for me, which is fantastic. I'm a little excited about it. I've only ever had one job that I didn't get because I knew someone, so I feel a little more positive about this than any other job I've applied for yet.

Happy Things

Some things are making me happy lately. 

These beauties. 

Sunflowers are my favorite.

There are going to be a lot right next to the motor home.

I love them. So pretty.

 Summer reading.

My mom sent me a whole stack of books by one of my favorite authors.

A place to sit.

It's been too hot, but I'm hoping to spend some time out here.

Pretty toes. 

I never paint my toes, but I couldn't resist these colors.

And just for funsies...  

This is what Ben drove while we were dating. I think we probably decided to get married while sitting in it.

What doesn't make me happy is that it doesn't rain here. And when it does, it's just short showers. Ben said rain is such an event, that he remembers the whole neighborhood coming out on their porches to watch it. Don't know how I will live without rain...

God bless our Camper.

We have officially moved into the motor home. I. Love. It. I'm a little surprised. I was hoping for the best, but I wasn't sure what to expect. It's not the easiest thing to do, and there are kinks to work out still. But it is really an enjoyable way to live so far. And the cats are enjoying it too, which is a relief.

Since the last picture update we have put up curtains, installed the cat door in the bathroom door, and Ben made our desk and put it in. Things left to do are to get the fridge working and make it so we can use the toilet (just for #1 during the night. ha.). Oh, and put our pictures on the wall.

Curtains up! At least some of them...

Home built desk!

Want to hear about something fun I did recently? My mother-in-law, two sister-in-laws and I went to this place where you spend an evening painting a picture. They provide the materials and teach you how to paint it. Of course you bring your own style, and you can add your own creative touches if you want. The night we went we painted a sailboat. I don't think mine is anything amazing, but it's pretty cute. I didn't really stray too much from the model, but my style of it came out different than the one the teacher painted. It was neat to see how each person painted the same thing, but every single person's looked different. It was definitely an enjoyable way to spend an evening, and I wouldn't mind doing it again sometime.

Me, Laura, Nichole, and Jan.

In regards to the job search, I've had an interview and some rejections. I haven't heard back from the interview. I've looked at listing after listing...and it feels like trying to wade through jello. I'm beginning to wonder if I should put time and energy into finishing up my doula training rather than focusing totally on getting a job. I still need to take a childbirth and breastfeeding class, and I need some more clients. My deadline is October. It feels like a leap. But I've been thinking a lot about jobs, what I want to do, what I don't want to do, dreams, purpose...and this could be the right thing to do at the moment.

Home and job happenings.

Painting turned out to be a nightmare. We had to go get a second can of both colors, and they gave us the wrong color of both cans somehow (I know I asked for the exact same colors). Then we had a ridiculous amount of trouble getting one of the colors we needed...Anyway, we finally got it all sorted out, and finished painting. Then Ben put the floor down in one evening, and we put our futon in.

Our floor that turned out great!

The most expensive piece of furniture we've ever bought.

Towards the back, the gray that caused me so many issues.

Towards the front: Ben is measuring for his desk and our friend Caleb is hanging out on the futon.

Ben wants to get the desk built before we officially move in. I am getting excited about getting in there. I am planning where we will put our stuff, how we can maximize our space, what kinds of things I need to best organize...that is some of my favorite stuff to do.

No news on the job front I afraid. Well, no good news. I know I didn't get the job at the church which is kind of a bummer. And now, I'm not sure where to look. I don't want to just go for any office job that I find searching the internet. I'm not sure why, but I just feel weird about it. Plus, Ben doesn't necessarily like that idea either. And I don't know how profitable driving around trying to find churches and giving them my resume would be. I feel very stuck in this area of my life.
 
Ben's job is going well. He's improving and getting faster each day. He has been exhausted every day when he gets home though. Part of that is probably because it has been hard for him to get used to going to bed early enough. We try every night, but somehow we end up staying up later than we means. I'm sure will get the hang of it. Since I'm not working I get up a little before him to make him breakfast and fix his lunch. I love being able to do that for him. I hope I can continue that even when I get a job. Which I at once am dreading, and hope will be soon.

Good Jorb.

I applied for another job yesterday. It is a part time office manager position at a church. I kinda want it. The church is really close to where we live, it is one that we have some connections at...To me it seems like it would be great, but God may have other plans for me.

This is the third job I have tried for in Colorado. This process is certainly taking some time, but I honestly don't mind. It's nice to have a break from work. Ben has been great, because he is fine with me only applying for jobs I want. He isn't pushing me to just get anything for the sake of me pulling in a paycheck. It is a nice feeling, but at the same time it is hard not to feel the pressure of "I NEED A JOB!" I've almost always had a job since I could drive, with some times of exception during college. But Ben's job seemed so providential, that I am hoping I have something like that waiting for me as well. I'm trying to keep my eyes and ears out for it.

Ben is at a safety meeting right now, because he starts work on Monday! Everything has worked out so well with him getting this job, down to the details that would be stressful if they didn't go a certain way. It would be eerie if we didn't think it was God working in our life...

In other news, we started painting the motor home! I am hoping we get that finished today, and I want to get the floor finished before Monday. I wouldn't mind if we could have our first night in it this weekend. I'm ready to see how it is going to go. I will post some more pictures once we finish the interior.

oy....

Well, we've been in Colorado for a week. It feels like we've been here so much longer.

Every day has had ups and downs, failures and success. I guess that's normal, but it seems really magnified. I've been emotional and sensitive and tired. It's hard to organize everything I have to say about what's been happening and my feelings about it.

Currently we are sleeping/staying in the guest room of my in-laws house. Our motor home needs some work before it is ready for us. Unfortunately, it is a little more work than we were anticipating, so that's a bit of a set back, which is a little frustrating. Our cats have to stay in the room all the time because of my in-laws dog and family member allergies. Actually, I'm not too upset about this because the motor home is a small living area as well, so it's a good test. They seem to be doing okay with it so far. They sometimes cry a little if they can hear us in a different part of the house, but I think it's just because they want to be with us, not because they are upset with being in a small space.

The bed we are sleeping on is the same size as what we will have in the motor home, which is smaller than what we are used to. My back has really been hurting, and I'm not sure if it is the mattress, the fact that I am not used to the small bed, or something else. It is hard to be accustomed to more sleeping space and then downgrade. But we bought a memory foam for our mattress in the camper. We will probably test it out on our bed in the house. I hope it helps, because waking up hurting every day is not fun.

Ben got a job working with his brother as an apprentice electrician, which is what we have been hoping for all along. We don't know exactly when he starts, or how long the work will last, but he will be making some good money for the time being. Everything just seemed to fall in place with this job. It is definitely a blessing.

I turned in my resume and application at a local Bible College. I was able to speak with the Human Resources lady, and they aren't hiring now, but may have an open position closer to when school starts up. Other than that, I'm not sure where to look. My "fall back" is to apply at Starbucks. I don't have a back up to my fall back yet.

The motor home is one of the more exciting parts of life right now. We bought paint and flooring. We've ripped out a rotten wall, and sanded the floor. Before we can officially inhabit it we need to replace the wall, paint, put down the flooring, and steam clean the mattress. There is more work to be done, but we can do that while living in it. We are hoping to get the bulk of the renovations done before Ben starts work, which we think will be in about a week and a half.

Emotionally, I am all over the place. I sobbed the first night we were here. It was just overwhelming.We've left friends and the only home we've ever had. The job I had for three years, where I was loved. I felt like I didn't know what I had left it all for. Things have been better since then, though I still have my moments of doubt and sadness. We've had some good time with family and friends, which we have really enjoyed. Time spent with family definitely makes it seem like our decision to move here was correct.

I'm also having to get used to being around people more than has been normal. I was by myself for a good portion of the last 3 years, so I didn't have a lot of the issues that come with dealing with people. And not dealing with people in a bad way, but just at all. It is taking some getting used to. I don't know if transitions are ever easy. This one certainly isn't. But I do think it is good for me.This is the first actual alone time I've had since we've been here, and I think I was needing it. So I'm relaxing with the kitties, doin' computer stuff.

There is probably more I could say, but this is a long post already. I think I will leave off here, with some pictures. 

Ben entering our home.

The inside before the redo.

The other direction of the inside before the redo.

Moving stinks.

This moving process has not been easy. It is making me crazy. It actually would probably be a lot easier if we didn't have to give so much away. And giving stuff away would be easier if we could just dump it all off at Goodwill, but we have been trying to give it away to friends who might need it. Coordinating who gets what has been complicated. It doesn't help that I over-think everything. Oh well. It will all be done soon.

The wedding we are in is also a complicating factor with this move, because it is located at the half way point for our drive to Colorado. It would be great to just go on from the wedding, but our cats pose an issue there. I'm looking into putting them into a kennel, but that might get expensive. Anway, it's been complicated and hard to decide what to do. 

Ben had his last shift at Walmart tonight. He may transfer to one in Colorado, but we aren't sure about that. If he does, I'm hoping for a different shift time.

Things will probably be pretty hectic for the next two weeks. The fact that we are leaving and will be living in a motor home definitely doesn't feel real yet.

oh my.

Tomorrow is May. Moving month is upon us. Ben and I have both been having some conflicting emotions about the move. We are excited about living in the motor home and being around family and our friends out there. But sad about leaving friends here. And there is some anxiety mixed in too. About specific things, like jobs and how the cats will do in the motor home. But I think I'm also experiencing just some general anxiety about starting a new life. There are so many unknowns. I'm a little sad to be leaving our first home as a married couple, too.

However,
I am BEYOND thrilled that Ben will be done with school. I can't believe the end has finally come. I'm so ready.

I've already been making some progress on sorting and packing. We have to be mostly packed up in two weeks so Ben's parents can take the majority of our stuff back after graduation. I have quite a bit to do in the next few weeks.

Job attempt!

I applied for a job in Colorado today. I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much, since I have no clue whether or not I will get it. But it's kind of hard, because I think I really want it. It is an administrative assistant job in a counseling center. I got my bachelor's degree in counseling and it is the same general type of work I have been doing for almost 3 years now, so I think it would be a really good fit. PLUS it is full time. With benefits. Which my current job is not.

It is the first time I've ever applied for a "grown up" job. I don't really count my job now because I still work hourly, I'm not full time, etc. The job I have now was previously designated for students, and I think that's another reason I've never really thought of it as a "grown up" job. And was pretty easy to get because it is at the college I graduated from, so they knew me. This would be a salaried position. I don't know anyone there. I submitted a cover letter in addition to my resume. Pretty crazy.

I guess if I don't get it, at least I'm getting myself more used to the process.

Anyway, I'm excited and nervous.

I'm Back!

I had to do an update to my account, and it resulted in me being confused, and unable to long on. But then I figured it out! So I'm back in my little blog. We got in late on Monday from our vacation. It was really hard to come back. I love Washington, and I love being with my mom and step-dad. I feel so content when I am out there. Ben says I have been grumpier since we've been back. Hah.

Here are some highlights from our trip.

My step-dad Kevin and my mom's Corgi Dottie.

A lighthouse on an island we visited.

One of my favorite activities: Beach Combing!

Me and Ben on the ferry.

The sign for The Egg and I Rd. The setting for one of my favorite books, The Egg and I.

In other news, our move to Colorado is a month from yesterday. YIKES!! I am not ready and it does not even feel real. We have a lot of stuff to get rid of. It's going to be a crazy month. Ben is going to be preaching every Sunday until we leave. I am going to be able to work pretty much full time until we leave, which is a huge blessing to us financially. This move is going to have expenses attached, of course. I also have a bridal shower I am helping plan, for a wedding we are both in the weekend after we move. I'm nervous and excited about everything that is coming up.

I can't wait!

A month from today we will be flying to my favorite place in the entire world. Washington. My mom lives there, and we are going to visit her over spring break. We were planning on going after Ben graduates, but between graduation, being in a wedding, and moving this is much better timing. And I am not too upset that trip is so close.

I've been in love with Washington since the first time I was there. It is so beautiful. It has the freshest air I've ever breathed. There are mountains and water. And it is soooo green. There is so much glorious rain.

And there is something else. I just feel at home there. I can't explain it, I just have never felt so much like I belong in a place. Which is kind of funny, because I went through some of the strangest and worst times of my life while I was there. But the wonderfullness of Washington shone through the awful. I really hope we will live there someday, even for just a while. But in the meantime, I will be happy with our week long vacation!

Other than just being in Washington, I'm excited to spend time with my mom, stepdad, and his family. We always have so much fun with them.

This is me and Ben at the Pike Street Market in Seattle. This was about four years ago I think (have we really been together that long?!).



Mom, Kevin (my stepdad), and me on one of our road trips.



This is me, Kevin, and my mom's dog Dottie on the beach. I love the ocean but I'm not the type to swim in the ocean, so I love the beaches up there because they are chilly, and perfect for just taking walks.



I'm so thankful we get to take this trip.

a vapor...

Life on this earth is temporary. And short.

Maybe it's because I'm getting older, but lately it has been pressing upon my mind that there is an end to the existence to which I am used.

It started when my grandpa was getting sick. I realized that my grandparents, and even my parents won't be alive for my whole life. Of course I knew this, but that was when the realization first became real to me. And then my grandpa died. And it became even more real. I have been blessed to still have all my grandparents up until then, and my parents too. I know there are plenty who don't. It was very difficult for me to lose my grandpa. Because I wasn't just grieving the loss of him. I was overwhelmed with the realization of the fact that people I love will not be on earth the whole time I am (that's assuming I live a long life, I of course know there is no guarantee of tomorrow).

And since then, though the thought hasn't been constant, it has been recurring. Life isn't that long.

Do you ever wonder what your life is "for"? I've been wondering that about mine a lot lately. I just really don't know. And often lately I find myself so world weary, that I have no desire for my life to be for anything. Things hurt me, and I just don't know how to deal. A friend is sick. A mentor is sick. I catch a headline of something horrible that has happened. I see daily evidence of people embracing deception, and rebelling against truth. None of these things are new occurrences, or unique to my experience. But I feel them very deeply.

This is one of those times when I'm not sure how to end this post. So I guess that was it.

Can two people and three cats live happily in a motor home?

That has been a big question on my mind lately.

Another one is, what job will I get in Colorado? I'm not even sure what type of job I want to look for. Ben and I were talking the other day about how I'm not really enjoying my current job anymore, and he gave a description of what he thought my ideal job would be. It involved walking outside petting kitties. I added that when it was cold, it would be sitting inside drinking tea and petting kitties. So if you know of this job, send it my way.

I do know what kinds of jobs I REALLY don't want to do, if I can avoid them. Daycare. Fast food. Waitressing. Retail. I guess that doesn't really leave many options...

I have thought I might like to work at Starbucks, but that might be because the perks sound appealing. I don't know if I want another office job, but that would probably make Ben the happiest. I just hate being stuck under fluorescent lights, and office work can get really boring.

I hate looking and applying for jobs. Probably because I don't usually even want to get hired at the places I apply. I think it will be nice to start something new though.

Looking for what to read in the blogosphere?

Most of the blogs I follow and read are those of people that I know from real life (by that I mean, I've actually met them). I don't really go looking for blogs too often, because lets be honest, there are sooooo many of them out there. It's way too overwhelming. There are a few blogs I readb y people I have never met, that I found in one way or another.

One is Talk2TheTrees by Rachael. I found her blog through a dress tutorial I saw on pinterest, and I couldn't stop reading! She is so cute and talented, and I just love reading everything she writes! This blog is full of beautiful photographs and positive thoughts. She shares the wonderful art available in her etsy shops, and the paintings, jewelry, and hats (I told you she was talented) are all lovely! She shares about her life and animals as well.

Another blog I enjoy is a punk, a pumpkin, and a peanut by Carina. I think I found her on someone else's blog. She is a lovely mother of 3 and a Christian. She shares her spiritual insights, and stories and thoughts about their past and future adoptions. She also talks about her kids, fashion, food, crafting, decorating, this blog has it all. And she has great taste! I have found a lot of her posts very encouraging at times.

Check out these two blogs if you are looking for some great ones.

What blogs do you like to read?

Feeling Good.

I have a lot of emotional ups and downs. I don't know why, but I have always been this way. Maybe everybody is. But today I am feeling good. Today is an up day for sure. Yesterday...was not. I woke up feeling miserable. I was supposed to go fill in for the person who took over my cleaning job. I really didn't want to. But I went, which felt like a pretty big victory. I ran to the store to grab some stuff for lunch, but the rest of the day I was at home, pretty much alone for the whole time. I felt terrible. I didn't want to do anything, really. And I couldn't really think of anything to do. It was a long, lonely day.

This morning I woke up knowing I needed to go do laundry. I didn't much want to, but this was the only chance I was going to get for a little while, and we really needed clothes. So I went. Another victory! Anyway, it wasn't too bad. I had decided I would go to goodwill and walmart afterward. I ended up visiting a friend at work, too. I was out of the house for around 3 hours. I realized that was the longest time I'd been out for that long other than for work in probably a couple of weeks. That is really not good for me. Of course it's hard in winter, and when there is nothing to do or no money to do anything (since we have to drive 30 minutes away for most entertainment options). And my friends are generally pretty busy in this season of their lives.

Well anyway, being out this morning gave me a real boost. Of course it helped that I found some great treasures at goodwill. I love the thrill from thrifting.

Want to see what I found?

This cool western shirt. It's a man's shirt and fits a little awkwardly, but I think I can alter it.



This pretty scarf.



This neat vintage tin.







And this really cool alphabet...thing. I got it for my friends etsy shop. So if you like it check her shop for it.

Favorites!

My friend Amanda did a post about her favorite things, and I thought it sounded like fun to list out some of my favorite things. So here they are!

Starbucks
Sushi
Chocolate with raspberry
tea with cream and sugar
rainy days
sweatpants
the northwest coast
snuggling with Ben
cats
roadtrips with snacks
Reef flipflops
American Eagle jeans
Daphne DuMaurier novels
period piece movies
homemade soup on a cold day
sunflowers
champagne
large glasses (eye glasses)
my grandma
sewing by hand
mystery stories (books or movies)
Dr. Pepper
sandalwood
having red hair
Jeep Wagoneers
yellow cake with chocolate frosting
cilantro
gray and yellow together
llamas

Is it really that exciting?

Maybe I'm alone here. But does anybody else know those people who are super enthusiastic? About EVERYTHING? I feel like I know a disproportional amount of them. Maybe it's a Bible college thing. These are the people that everything is exciting and everyone is the greatest, and they must express this often. And then there is the word "epic." The whole "epic" trend is a personal pet peeve. I'm pretty sure there are not many things in my life I would describe as epic. Maybe nothing. My life is pretty quiet.

Anyway, maybe I'm just getting older. I'm kind of okay with being boring sometimes. And I just don't have the enthusiasm I notice amongst the facebook world. I wish I could come up with a good example, but it's more of a general wave of the same type of posts.

Plans.

With the end of Ben's school career in sight, we began to think about our next step. We prayed about it, and we think we have been shown our path for the next season in our life. It's a bit on the strange, bizarre, crazy side.

We, and our three cats, will be living in a motorhome in Ben's parents driveway.

Why would we do this, you ask. Let me tell you some reasons.

1. We want to. It's an adventure, it sounds fun and challenging.

2. This is probably the only time in our life that it is realistic to attempt something like this. We are young, no kids, etc.

3. To pay off debt. We have student loans that we want to pay off as quickly as possible, so that I will be able to stay home with kids, at least while they are not in school. Living this way will cut down our expenses SO much, that we think we will be able to pay down a good chunk of those loans fairly quickly.

I am not going into this idealistically, I definitely know it will be difficult and probably frustrating and painful in some ways. But I think it will be good for us, and will help us accomplish our goals. So I am pretty excited about it.