I can't wait!

A month from today we will be flying to my favorite place in the entire world. Washington. My mom lives there, and we are going to visit her over spring break. We were planning on going after Ben graduates, but between graduation, being in a wedding, and moving this is much better timing. And I am not too upset that trip is so close.

I've been in love with Washington since the first time I was there. It is so beautiful. It has the freshest air I've ever breathed. There are mountains and water. And it is soooo green. There is so much glorious rain.

And there is something else. I just feel at home there. I can't explain it, I just have never felt so much like I belong in a place. Which is kind of funny, because I went through some of the strangest and worst times of my life while I was there. But the wonderfullness of Washington shone through the awful. I really hope we will live there someday, even for just a while. But in the meantime, I will be happy with our week long vacation!

Other than just being in Washington, I'm excited to spend time with my mom, stepdad, and his family. We always have so much fun with them.

This is me and Ben at the Pike Street Market in Seattle. This was about four years ago I think (have we really been together that long?!).



Mom, Kevin (my stepdad), and me on one of our road trips.



This is me, Kevin, and my mom's dog Dottie on the beach. I love the ocean but I'm not the type to swim in the ocean, so I love the beaches up there because they are chilly, and perfect for just taking walks.



I'm so thankful we get to take this trip.

a vapor...

Life on this earth is temporary. And short.

Maybe it's because I'm getting older, but lately it has been pressing upon my mind that there is an end to the existence to which I am used.

It started when my grandpa was getting sick. I realized that my grandparents, and even my parents won't be alive for my whole life. Of course I knew this, but that was when the realization first became real to me. And then my grandpa died. And it became even more real. I have been blessed to still have all my grandparents up until then, and my parents too. I know there are plenty who don't. It was very difficult for me to lose my grandpa. Because I wasn't just grieving the loss of him. I was overwhelmed with the realization of the fact that people I love will not be on earth the whole time I am (that's assuming I live a long life, I of course know there is no guarantee of tomorrow).

And since then, though the thought hasn't been constant, it has been recurring. Life isn't that long.

Do you ever wonder what your life is "for"? I've been wondering that about mine a lot lately. I just really don't know. And often lately I find myself so world weary, that I have no desire for my life to be for anything. Things hurt me, and I just don't know how to deal. A friend is sick. A mentor is sick. I catch a headline of something horrible that has happened. I see daily evidence of people embracing deception, and rebelling against truth. None of these things are new occurrences, or unique to my experience. But I feel them very deeply.

This is one of those times when I'm not sure how to end this post. So I guess that was it.