Selfish.

I seem to be in a period of...I'm not sure what it is a period of actually. But I am coming face to face with my ugliness. I think this is a good time for me, though it isn't easy. I am really learning, and I want to be a better woman than I am. Oh how I hope that learning takes root and bears fruit in my life.

Basically, I'm realizing how lazy and selfish I am. Don't misunderstand me, I'm truly not just out to beat myself up, I'm not fishing for any cries of opposition. I'm a woman coming to terms with the sin that is in my life, and my need for God to do anything good.
Lately, I've been miserable. Somehow, I've managed to lose all my heart and focus to love and help others, and turned my focus inward. That is a sure formula for a miserable, unfulfilled life. TRUST ME.

As this becomes clearer to me, my question for God is...what's my next step? How do I change? I don't think that there is any splendid or surprising answer. I believe it will be in small, but difficult steps, doing what I already know to be right. Turning my heart and mind from myself to God and others. Friends, pray for me. Pray that I have the strength to win these small but important victories.