Wondering.

I've been doing a lot of wondering lately. It feels like we are getting mixed signals.

Mainly I've been wondering if Colorado Springs is just a temporary thing for us. There are things that seem to say we should stay, and other things...not that say we should go, but that make me wonder if there is some other season we are waiting here/preparing for.

Colorado Springs Pros:

• It *looks* like I am a shoo in for a part time church secretary job that I would most likely be able to take the baby to.

• We like our church and have been getting involved in the youth group with some mild success. The retreat we went on did help us get to know the kids more, and we actually enjoyed it. My heart really warmed to these youth group kids.

• Ben's family is here. This is a pro, but it is not necessarily one that makes me think we have to stay here.

Colorado Springs Cons:

• I don't like living here. But the mountains, the beauty, right? Eh...We've realized it's too big of a town for us. The mountains are beautiful, but I could live without them without too much of a wrench. 

• I don't know that we could ever afford to live on our own here. It's an expensive place to live. Even if we could, there is not a single area in this town, in the whole half hour that it spans from north to south, that I would want to live in. 

• So far Ben CANNOT find a job. He couldn't get a job at Lowes or Kohls that was the exact same job he had done for 3 years at Walmart. He couldn't get a job as a substitute custodian for one of the school districts. He's applied for several others, without any sort of bites. I know that we depend on God, not the job market, but it just makes me wonder. If Ben can't find a job, then it sort of nullifies the fact that I am able to get a part time job. 

Things certainly seem unclear from our perspective. I know God has it all in His hands. At this point it seems like all we can do is wait for His plans to be revealed. Perhaps they will have the same gestational period as this baby. It would be kind of fitting for the next step to come after the baby is born, since Ben got laid off right before we found out I was pregnant.