I'm Back!

I had to do an update to my account, and it resulted in me being confused, and unable to long on. But then I figured it out! So I'm back in my little blog. We got in late on Monday from our vacation. It was really hard to come back. I love Washington, and I love being with my mom and step-dad. I feel so content when I am out there. Ben says I have been grumpier since we've been back. Hah.

Here are some highlights from our trip.

My step-dad Kevin and my mom's Corgi Dottie.

A lighthouse on an island we visited.

One of my favorite activities: Beach Combing!

Me and Ben on the ferry.

The sign for The Egg and I Rd. The setting for one of my favorite books, The Egg and I.

In other news, our move to Colorado is a month from yesterday. YIKES!! I am not ready and it does not even feel real. We have a lot of stuff to get rid of. It's going to be a crazy month. Ben is going to be preaching every Sunday until we leave. I am going to be able to work pretty much full time until we leave, which is a huge blessing to us financially. This move is going to have expenses attached, of course. I also have a bridal shower I am helping plan, for a wedding we are both in the weekend after we move. I'm nervous and excited about everything that is coming up.

I can't wait!

A month from today we will be flying to my favorite place in the entire world. Washington. My mom lives there, and we are going to visit her over spring break. We were planning on going after Ben graduates, but between graduation, being in a wedding, and moving this is much better timing. And I am not too upset that trip is so close.

I've been in love with Washington since the first time I was there. It is so beautiful. It has the freshest air I've ever breathed. There are mountains and water. And it is soooo green. There is so much glorious rain.

And there is something else. I just feel at home there. I can't explain it, I just have never felt so much like I belong in a place. Which is kind of funny, because I went through some of the strangest and worst times of my life while I was there. But the wonderfullness of Washington shone through the awful. I really hope we will live there someday, even for just a while. But in the meantime, I will be happy with our week long vacation!

Other than just being in Washington, I'm excited to spend time with my mom, stepdad, and his family. We always have so much fun with them.

This is me and Ben at the Pike Street Market in Seattle. This was about four years ago I think (have we really been together that long?!).



Mom, Kevin (my stepdad), and me on one of our road trips.



This is me, Kevin, and my mom's dog Dottie on the beach. I love the ocean but I'm not the type to swim in the ocean, so I love the beaches up there because they are chilly, and perfect for just taking walks.



I'm so thankful we get to take this trip.

a vapor...

Life on this earth is temporary. And short.

Maybe it's because I'm getting older, but lately it has been pressing upon my mind that there is an end to the existence to which I am used.

It started when my grandpa was getting sick. I realized that my grandparents, and even my parents won't be alive for my whole life. Of course I knew this, but that was when the realization first became real to me. And then my grandpa died. And it became even more real. I have been blessed to still have all my grandparents up until then, and my parents too. I know there are plenty who don't. It was very difficult for me to lose my grandpa. Because I wasn't just grieving the loss of him. I was overwhelmed with the realization of the fact that people I love will not be on earth the whole time I am (that's assuming I live a long life, I of course know there is no guarantee of tomorrow).

And since then, though the thought hasn't been constant, it has been recurring. Life isn't that long.

Do you ever wonder what your life is "for"? I've been wondering that about mine a lot lately. I just really don't know. And often lately I find myself so world weary, that I have no desire for my life to be for anything. Things hurt me, and I just don't know how to deal. A friend is sick. A mentor is sick. I catch a headline of something horrible that has happened. I see daily evidence of people embracing deception, and rebelling against truth. None of these things are new occurrences, or unique to my experience. But I feel them very deeply.

This is one of those times when I'm not sure how to end this post. So I guess that was it.

Can two people and three cats live happily in a motor home?

That has been a big question on my mind lately.

Another one is, what job will I get in Colorado? I'm not even sure what type of job I want to look for. Ben and I were talking the other day about how I'm not really enjoying my current job anymore, and he gave a description of what he thought my ideal job would be. It involved walking outside petting kitties. I added that when it was cold, it would be sitting inside drinking tea and petting kitties. So if you know of this job, send it my way.

I do know what kinds of jobs I REALLY don't want to do, if I can avoid them. Daycare. Fast food. Waitressing. Retail. I guess that doesn't really leave many options...

I have thought I might like to work at Starbucks, but that might be because the perks sound appealing. I don't know if I want another office job, but that would probably make Ben the happiest. I just hate being stuck under fluorescent lights, and office work can get really boring.

I hate looking and applying for jobs. Probably because I don't usually even want to get hired at the places I apply. I think it will be nice to start something new though.

Looking for what to read in the blogosphere?

Most of the blogs I follow and read are those of people that I know from real life (by that I mean, I've actually met them). I don't really go looking for blogs too often, because lets be honest, there are sooooo many of them out there. It's way too overwhelming. There are a few blogs I readb y people I have never met, that I found in one way or another.

One is Talk2TheTrees by Rachael. I found her blog through a dress tutorial I saw on pinterest, and I couldn't stop reading! She is so cute and talented, and I just love reading everything she writes! This blog is full of beautiful photographs and positive thoughts. She shares the wonderful art available in her etsy shops, and the paintings, jewelry, and hats (I told you she was talented) are all lovely! She shares about her life and animals as well.

Another blog I enjoy is a punk, a pumpkin, and a peanut by Carina. I think I found her on someone else's blog. She is a lovely mother of 3 and a Christian. She shares her spiritual insights, and stories and thoughts about their past and future adoptions. She also talks about her kids, fashion, food, crafting, decorating, this blog has it all. And she has great taste! I have found a lot of her posts very encouraging at times.

Check out these two blogs if you are looking for some great ones.

What blogs do you like to read?

Feeling Good.

I have a lot of emotional ups and downs. I don't know why, but I have always been this way. Maybe everybody is. But today I am feeling good. Today is an up day for sure. Yesterday...was not. I woke up feeling miserable. I was supposed to go fill in for the person who took over my cleaning job. I really didn't want to. But I went, which felt like a pretty big victory. I ran to the store to grab some stuff for lunch, but the rest of the day I was at home, pretty much alone for the whole time. I felt terrible. I didn't want to do anything, really. And I couldn't really think of anything to do. It was a long, lonely day.

This morning I woke up knowing I needed to go do laundry. I didn't much want to, but this was the only chance I was going to get for a little while, and we really needed clothes. So I went. Another victory! Anyway, it wasn't too bad. I had decided I would go to goodwill and walmart afterward. I ended up visiting a friend at work, too. I was out of the house for around 3 hours. I realized that was the longest time I'd been out for that long other than for work in probably a couple of weeks. That is really not good for me. Of course it's hard in winter, and when there is nothing to do or no money to do anything (since we have to drive 30 minutes away for most entertainment options). And my friends are generally pretty busy in this season of their lives.

Well anyway, being out this morning gave me a real boost. Of course it helped that I found some great treasures at goodwill. I love the thrill from thrifting.

Want to see what I found?

This cool western shirt. It's a man's shirt and fits a little awkwardly, but I think I can alter it.



This pretty scarf.



This neat vintage tin.







And this really cool alphabet...thing. I got it for my friends etsy shop. So if you like it check her shop for it.

Favorites!

My friend Amanda did a post about her favorite things, and I thought it sounded like fun to list out some of my favorite things. So here they are!

Starbucks
Sushi
Chocolate with raspberry
tea with cream and sugar
rainy days
sweatpants
the northwest coast
snuggling with Ben
cats
roadtrips with snacks
Reef flipflops
American Eagle jeans
Daphne DuMaurier novels
period piece movies
homemade soup on a cold day
sunflowers
champagne
large glasses (eye glasses)
my grandma
sewing by hand
mystery stories (books or movies)
Dr. Pepper
sandalwood
having red hair
Jeep Wagoneers
yellow cake with chocolate frosting
cilantro
gray and yellow together
llamas